Beating Imposter Syndrome with your own “Bill of Rights”

Many of us crave better physical fitness.  We know just buying the gear and subscribing to a gym isn’t enough.  

And buying a self-improvement book that looks good on your bookshelf though you never read it, listening to a podcast or doing the odd mindfulness session won’t create mental fitness either.

No beam of light will fall from the sky and just make of physically and mentally fit because we bought a book, an app or some shoes.

You have to do something.   And for the next few weeks Thriving Leader shorts is giving you tiny things to do that’ll make a difference – like couch to 5k for the mind.

Sowing self-doubt

A big element for many of us experiencing what we think of, and call Imposter Syndrome comes when we see those in the circle we crave to be in, or now actually find ourselves in, displaying and demonstrating different values to those we hold.

We can’t always describe this, it just feels, well, kind of off.   We all know off when we sense it.

The sharper folks out there may even be seeing others behave in inconsistent ways – one moment they seem to be with the crowd and maybe in private, something else.

It makes us doubt ourselves and who we are.

Strength of values

For almost the entire 20th century organisations didn’t have values.  Or at least they didn’t really talk about them until 1994 when a book called Built to Last popularised creating them.

But these values ironically weren’t really Built to Last as many organisations proceeded to change their values in line with changes to their leadership.

Contrast with individuals whose values build and morph slowly over time and through lived experience.   Each time our values are challenged it either reinforces or relaxes the values we hold.

Generally, our personal values are more robust, run deeper and last longer than those declared by organisations.

How can you use this insight?

Resolving Imposter Syndrome isn’t about swapping your values for someone else’s.

It’s also not about pretending to adopt values that don’t feel they belong to you.

It is about recognising and accepting difference and difference in perspectives however those have originated.

And rather than seeing this as difference rather than Imposter Syndrome it allows you choice.  Choice to decide that difference is good and productive and something you can happily live with or the difference is unproductive, even toxic and it’s time to find a place that’s a better fit.

Values can be influenced by our upbringing.  But differences in our upbringing isn’t insurmountable.

Where to get started

The first step is to get to know and understand your own values.   There are lots of different tools that’ll help you do this.   A short version might be www.viproject.com and a longer more comprehensive look at values is the work of DeMartini here https://drdemartini.com/values/start

Then look at those encounters that trigger imposter syndrome and contemplate what you’re seeing as differences in values to your own. 

How can your values bring productive good to your organisation?  How can you support and help your organisation through the unique upbringing you’ve had that’s helped form the values you hold today?   How can your insight help your organisation understand blind spots?   But also how can the values of others help you with yours?

Give this a try

Rather than dive off and do an exercise around values.  Let’s give you a few examples to think of right now to bring this to life.   How well do these sentences resonate with you?   If anything resonates, what in your experience triggers this?  Where is this value challenged by others around you?

I value equality.  I feel strongly that there should be equality of opportunity for all regardless of age, gender, race, social background, sexual orientation and other characteristics

Authority should be respected.  It’s important to recognise and respect authority and in particular defer to those who are in more senior positions

Conformity.  I believe in confirming to rules and regulations set by higher authorities in most instances

Sense of control  I am driven by a sense I can influence events and my destiny

Thriving Leader – Short conclusion

What you perceive as Imposter Syndrome can be perception of different values at play.

Different values present you with choice.  To harness that difference and make it work for everyone’s benefit.    To butt against the difference in values and tolerate the conflict.

The first step is knowing is to understand and recognise our own values so we can understand how they differ to those of others.

This method of defusing your Imposter Syndrome is within your grasp and control.

Love this and want to develop faster and further?

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