The five faces of imposter syndrome
The five faces of Imposter Syndrome
Ian Browne MA, ACC
Early careers - Apprenticeships - helping people kick Imposter Syndrome to the curb and unleash their leadership potential
February 15, 2024
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Have you ever achieved something remarkable, only to feel like you didn't deserve it? Or perhaps you've experienced a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite evidence of your competence? If so, you're not alone. Welcome to the complex world of imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome, contrary to what many believe, isn't a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. It's a multifaceted experience that manifests in various ways, often sneaking into our minds in unexpected ways. From high-achieving professionals to creatives, entrepreneurs, and students, imposter syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of their background or level of success.
Imposter Syndrome shows up differently in all of us
At its core, imposter syndrome is characterized by a persistent feeling of inadequacy, self-doubt, and a fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. However, its manifestations can differ significantly from person to person, making it a nuanced and often misunderstood phenomenon.
In this blog post, I'll delve deeper into the different shapes and sizes that imposter syndrome can take. By understanding its various faces, we can begin to recognize it in ourselves and others, paving the way for greater self-awareness, empathy, and ultimately, empowerment
I'll help you understand it better. And through that understanding, eradicate yours for good.
Sounds great? Let's begin.
Did you know Imposter Syndrome comes in different flavours?
If you've ever been to Italy you'll know any gelato store offers you a myriad of choices.
And it's not just a case of picking a single flavour. Every Italian has their favourite combinations. You could be a Pistaccio and Hazlenut person. You could be a fruity lemon and amarena cherry. Rarely there's someone who only will go for vanilla.
And so if your gelateria offers 24 flavours then as customers you may have several hundred combinations available to you.
Imposter Syndrome is not one thing. It doesn't show up the same way for each person. And it doesn't originate from the same source in each person. Which makes it all rich, complex and tricky to solve.
And this is the reason why when someone tells you they conquered imposter syndrome by doing specific things, what worked for them may well not work for you.
The good news though is that once we know that there is more than one single version of Imposter Syndrome, we can look at a few of the flavours and figure out which one is most like us. And from there we can set a decent strategy to kick Imposter Syndrome to the curb.
How do you find your flavour?
There are lots and lots of different flavours to Imposter Syndrome but in trying to break free from the notion that IS is one thing, let's not over-complicate things but instead draw on research from Doctor Valerie Young.
Doctor Valerie Young is an expert in IS and co-founder of the Imposter Syndrome Institute. Her research shows many different flavours of imposter syndrome. Here are five of the main flavours.
The Perfectionist
Are you that person who sets high standards for themselves and others? Imagine last time you booked a restaurant for a special occasion. You've rehearsed how dinner will go in your mind. You've scrutinised every review. You've done all the planning possible. Any further and you've eaten the meal in your mind.
In your own work, when things are not perfect, you have that strong sense of self-doubt. Failure is an ever-present risk.
So you work harder and longer striving for that moment of perfection.
Perfection is as elusive as the end of a rainbow. Enter stage left, a cycle of increasing effort and disappointment. Nothing you can do is every good enough. And you live with the anxiety that sooner or later others will find out.
The Natural Genius
Every parent's dream and nightmare is the "naturally gifted prodigy". The natural genius was playing Beethoven by sight at the age of 3. Had graduated to the violin by 5 and completing their grade exams with aplomb by the age of 7.
You could swap music for language, sports, science. History loves a prodigy or natural genius. Parents crave natural flair then feel an obligation to support its acceleration.
Natural Genius' can turn their hand to almost anything. It will invariably turn out well, despite the absence of visible effort.
Until it doesn't. If you're the natural genius then you struggle when you can't grasp something quickly. You move on rapidly to the next thing in search of the quick win. You may lack perseverance that leads to stronger growth.
Your Imposter Syndrome berates you for your inadequacy. It scolds you for allowing yourself to be overtaken by another genius. It shames you for all this being on show, and visible to others.
Experts
If you are that kind of person who has to know things so you can feel competent - this one's for you.
Experts equate knowledge with perfection. If there is a flaw, then it is likely because there is a missing piece of information. There is knowledge yet to master.
If this is your flavour of IS, you may feel discomfort and inadequacy walking into a new role.
That new job where everyone who's been there a while knows more than you. Where every day, new pieces of information you gather feel like shards of glass - shaming you for what you don't know. Where you look forwards towards what you still don't yet know. When others look back at how much they've absorbed already.
And how about finding a new job? You'll not look at a job unless you have almost everything they've asked for. Heck you may not apply even then because there are bound to be things they want but haven't said. You may research and research until the opportunity has passed. And your Imposter Syndrome will convince you still didn't know enough to even apply.
Soloists
The only achievement worth having is the one you've got by yourself. This is the motto of the solist. For the soloist it is a badge of honour to strive hard and achieve the impossible. Asking for help is a weakness. Achievement is important. Recognition from others is pleasurable.
Solists don't always work alone. They can be part of a team. In a team, the solists needs to see and feel their own contribution. They won't rest or feel secure without this. What others think is a mystery because asking them is already a sign of weakness - why do I not just know?
It is inevitable that solists struggle with difficult or complex tasks. They won't ask for help, even when things are going wrong. When they do go wrong, solists will put off telling others. So the problem gets worse and more difficult to solve. When help arrives, it's needed by the truckload. And so the soloist feels yet more inadequate.
Superwoman & Superman
Our super heroes are out the save the planet from disaster and nothing else will do. You can't almost save a planet. For our super heroes, perfectionism takes on an all or nothing guise.
Things are black and white. The project was amazing or a failure. The team are high performing or inadequate. This potential new role has potential for triumph or mediocrity. When performance is less than flawless it is painful to experience.
Your mind fills with what isn't rather than what is.
What flavour are you?
Now you've seen the five flavours you can work out which feels most or least true to you. It won't be perfect but having a leaning towards one or another is a great way of being able to then figure out what to do to kick imposter syndrome to the curb.
Imposter Syndrome is like wearing faulty lenses
Imposter Syndrome at its heart is a mismatch between expectations and reality. If you've worn spectacles you'll get this. If you're fortunate enough not to wear lenses then think about your last eye test.
When we get our eyes tested, the optician will try out different lenses on the left and right eye. It often takes a few tries before we can see with clear vision.
With Imposter Syndrome we have an "expectations" lens and a "reality" lens. When we experience Imposter Syndrome it is possible for one or both lenses to be off balance.
Our expectations of ourselves can be flawed. We may be a poor judge of what others expect of us.
Our sense of reality can be also be flawed. We may see what we choose to see and ignore what others experience.
To eradicate IS check your expectations and reality
There is no cure for Imposter Syndrome. Understanding what flavour of IS you have can help you understand two things that'll help.
First, it will help you understand how your expectations can be off balance.
Second, it will help you undestand how your sense of reality can be different to others.
Ahead for this season
In this series of articles, we'll be exploring some of the ways our thinking nurtures Imposter Syndrome.
We'll look at some of the tricks Imposter Syndrome play on so you can be better and sharper at seeing them coming.
We'll be exploring how you can use typical signs of Imposter Syndrome as part of your steps to calm it down.
We'll look at daily techniques to value yourself the way others likely do.
Don't let anyone kid you that Imposter Syndrome isn't real.
It originates in mindset. But it guides, influences and dictates your beliefs, our intent and our actions. We feel it. Others feel it too. Many people live their whole lives fairly miserably accepting Imposter Syndrome as part of their lives.
Its origins may be in our childhood but this is one of those things that rarely just cures itself over time. In fact it's something if unaddressed, that parents can easily 'gift' on to their children.
Working intensively with clients and using proven techniques of Positive Intelligence I help people understand and learn, control and take away the pain of living with Imposter Syndrome. Reach out if you'd like to know more.
Take action. Don't let that be you. You've got this.
